I am worried for survivors today. Yes, what happened was beyond horrible — children, including a probable future WNBA player, precious GiGi Bryant — and their parents dying together in an unthinkable accident. Of course I grieve for the families of everyone involved. Yet as prominent feminists such as Alicia Keys, Ava DuVernay, the Obamas, John Legend, and Laura Dern call a man a legend, an icon, a hero, the woman whose neck bore strangulation scars from the grip of that man’s hands, the woman who bled at his hands, is forgotten. And today she and other survivors hear him exalted, idolized, praised by the very people who have vowed to represent and protect them. Was Kobe Bryant an excellent player, someone who did a lot for the community? Yes. But an icon, an idol, a hero? Damn it, not on my terms.